Religious Trauma and Perimenopause are probably not terms you thought you’d see in the same sentence.
For me, they happened at the same time. Fair to say there were days I was not fun to be around.
I was overwhelmed, bone tired and highly reactive. I was gaslighting myself, trying to think my way out of trauma (was it even trauma?) and wondering if I would ever feel me again.
Cluster headaches, night sweats and 100 other random symptoms made me feel like my body was against me. Mood swings – were they trauma related or hormonal? Shame, identity, big life stage changes, shifts in community and worldview, which way is up?
Unsurprisingly, I see a lot of women in counselling navigating both and feeling like they are actually losing their minds. So we work to support the body and pull apart the ways each is having an impact.
The overlap between the two are so similar.
Both religious trauma and perimenopause are not well understood. We have to advocate for ourselves with therapists and our doctors. This is changing, but I’ve experienced and heard so many stories of feeling dismissed and having our stories minimised. You just need a bubble bath and some antidepressants luv.
They may as well pat us on the head.The impact of trauma can include fear and anxiety, symptoms of ‘unsafety’, the inability to think clearly or critically, physical heaviness and grief. It can impact our sleep and we can have distressing dreams. Panic attacks and overwhelm are common.
The symptoms of perimenopause (characterised as the 5-10 years (years!!) leading up to the last menstrual period) can look very similar. Brain fog, reduced resilience, exhaustion, increased sensitivity, and then honestly, just pick from hair loss, weight gain, skin breakouts, bloating and food intolerances. It’s not called the second puberty for nothing.
We also often see women caring for both kids and parents in this time of life and yet still working and trying to do it all. We’ll leave the disproportionate burden of housework for another time.
I started to realise the ground was moving underneath me in terms of my faith, my identity, my relationships, my anchors – at the same time I was starting to get hot flushes.
It took years before I could find a therapist who understood religious trauma and I still haven’t found a GP who understands perimenopause. Mine is happy to go along with what I understand through years of working with an excellent naturopath and can I just say thank f*ck for HRT!
All of which to say – if this is you, are you ok?
Please reach out if you find yourself weepy and recognise yourself in this picture.
You’re not alone.
If you’d like to make a counselling appointment in-person in Marrickville or online (Telehealth), you can book in here.
