The bones, by way of an intro to this big topic:
What is religious trauma and how do I know if I have it? The bones: Religious trauma isn’t just about bad experiences in church. It’s what happens to the nervous system, our sense of Self and capacity for trust when a religious environment has been harmful, controlling or abusive. We can experience chronic guilt, hypervigilance, shame-based and fear-based thinking, difficulty trusting our own instincts, the exhaustion of years of self-monitoring. Note that it doesn’t require a dramatic exit or a cult, it can come from ordinary churches or faith groups with harmful theology.
What’s the difference between a faith crisis and religious trauma? The bones: A faith crisis is a crisis of belief. Religious and spiritual trauma is a crisis of Self. You can have one without the other. Many people deconstructing their faith are not traumatised, and some people who are traumatised have never questioned their beliefs. The distinction matters because it shapes what kind of support is actually useful.
What is spiritual abuse? The bones: Spiritual abuse happens when spiritual authority is used to control, manipulate or harm. It doesn’t require physical harm. Some of the forms it takes are shunning, coercive control spoken about as accountability, shame-based teaching, high-control group dynamics. It can happen in any faith tradition and it often doesn’t look like abuse from the inside, or at least it’s normalised and feels like the air we’re breathing.
What is a high-control religious group and how is it different from a cult? The bones: The word “cult” carries a particular image most people don’t identify with, which means many people who’ve been harmed in high-control environments don’t recognise their experience. But we can see the characteristics of cults in high-control groups. Things like us vs them thinking, leadership that can’t be questioned, shunning of those who leave, shame as a management tool for example. These exist on a spectrum from mainstream churches to more extreme groups.
What is narcissistic trauma and how does it relate to religious environments? The bones: Narcissistic abuse in a religious context is particularly difficult to name because it often looks like the spiritual authority we’re taught is the normal order of things. Verses like ‘don’t touch God’s anointed’ may be used to establish leadership that can’t be questioned. Narcissistic abuse can also include family members or partners, often exacerbated by religious frameworks that enforce compliance; and the institutional, charismatic leaders whose behaviour goes unchallenged because of their spiritual status.
I work with people who have experienced religious and spiritual trauma every week in my practice in Marrickville and online Australia and New Zealand wide.
If you need support to make sense of this disorienting experience, I’d love to hear from you.
You can book in a time for an intro call here or leave me a message here.
Warmly,
Jane
Registered Counsellor ACA
Co-Founder The Religious Trauma Collective
