Codependence does not equal love. We’re often told that giving endlessly, putting others first, and denying our own needs is the highest form of love. Many faith communities call this selflessness, even holiness. But codependence isn’t love. Love allows both people to remain whole. It respects freedom, individuality, and difference.

What does creating a life that supports healing from complex trauma look like? Isn’t knowing ourselves and giving ourselves what we need selfish and indulgent? We may not be able to move off grid and quit our jobs but there are so many ways within our control that we can

Shame is a gnarly little feeling. It’s slippery, insidious, and can be debilitating if left unchecked. I’ve written before about full-bodied shame spirals, the kind that seem to take over your whole nervous system. You know the ones: your chest tightens, your stomach drops, and suddenly you’re replaying old failures

When I began to deconstruct my Christian faith I looked for other spiritual practices for guidance and grounding. I remember coming across this Buddhist loving kindness meditation and finding it confronting. May you be WellMay you be HappyMay you be PeacefulMay you be Loved These sound so good, but Happy?