Shame is a gnarly little feeling. It’s slippery, insidious, and can be debilitating if left unchecked. I’ve written before about full-bodied shame spirals, the kind that seem to take over your whole nervous system. You know the ones: your chest tightens, your stomach drops, and suddenly you’re replaying old failures
When I began to deconstruct my Christian faith I looked for other spiritual practices for guidance and grounding. I remember coming across this Buddhist loving kindness meditation and finding it confronting. May you be WellMay you be HappyMay you be PeacefulMay you be Loved These sound so good, but Happy?
Almost a week ago I deleted the social media apps from my phone. It was getting hard to hear myself think and I needed to clear my head. And I find I’m daydreaming again, which is kind of lovely. Peace is our natural state. That doesn’t necessarily mean zen-like or even
This line, attributed to Persian Sufi poetry, gave me pause. How would you answer it? I love the impermanence of it, in this breath. It’s mindful and present. It suggests we don’t have to know the whole answer, just the thought for this moment.There is so much noise in the world right now. So much urgency and fear. The state of our heart seems like a trite or indulgent thing to attend to when there are “real” problems to be anxious about. For those who have been shaped by faith spaces that centred end times, Armageddon, or apocalyptic pressure, and I see so many in the counselling room, this can feel especially overwhelming.
I’ve been on a few podcasts over the past few years talking about the impact of religious trauma in the therapy room. The most recent conversation I had with Jaime Simpson was personal. It was about her story but also my experience of her story. The new podcast is called
This introductory course is designed to broaden your understanding of religious trauma, spiritual abuse and painful experiences in high-demand church or faith settings.
What I Wish my Therapist knew about Religious Trauma includes downloadable resources, eBook “The Sentimental Non-Believer. On Loving & Leaving God” as well as the stories of others with lived experience.
We start to have doubts and questions but want to stay and try and change it as an insider. We feel broken when we realise this isn’t possible. So many of us limp away devastated and feeling very alone, shamed and told we’re the problem. With the right support we recover and rebuild.
I’m so grateful to have had that support in the end after many years of trying to figure it out by myself. Reach out if you need that support. It’s not an easy journey.
We cycle through phases of grief and healing when we’ve experienced religious and spiritual trauma.Easter brings us face-to-face with where we are in that cycle and if we’re paying attention, our bodies will tell us what we need next
What does the word resurrection mean to you? Is it loaded or can you reclaim it? What have you come alive to? Leaving church and / or God is often one of the most painful things we can go through. But there is life, freedom and relief to be found
