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Why people come to counselling.

Navigating our emotions and figuring out how to come back to ourselves, or at least, a version of ourselves that feels comfortable, grounded, calm, connected – is why people come to counselling.

I went back to the Window of Tolerance this week and created some new images. There are 3 nervous system states we come in and out of.

Our 1. Optimal 2. Fight or flight Hyper Arousal state and 3. The Hypo Arousal shut down, freeze state. These frame our Window of Tolerance, which we can learn to widen.

Most days we get activated in some way and experience anxiety or flat energy, and we come back to base, to feeling grounded and more like ourselves.

When we have underlying trauma, though, and so many, if not all of us have bruises that hurt when pressed on, we can get stuck.

Sometimes so stuck we develop maladaptive or unhealthy coping mechanisms that impact our relationships and work life. They may become debilitating, leave us feeling on alert, hypervigilant, or low energy and burnt out.

If you’re in anxious energy, walk it off, run, sing loudly, move it through your system.

If you’re flat and tired, shake it off, dance it out, get some good sleep, put some boundaries in place and care for yourself. The more you nurture yourself, the more effectively you increase your agility, and widen your window.

These images may help. If you’re stuck, feel free to reach out. If you want healthier ways of coming back to base, I’d love to support you.

Go gently

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